what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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