just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
