I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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