It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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