Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
