just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
