I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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