dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Found the puke drawer
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Randomize
