Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
