Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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