you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
