why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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