Apparently you make a good broom.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Randomize
