Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I am naked and annoyed.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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