I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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