Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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