Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
