i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
