i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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