Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
