toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
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