I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
