omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
