i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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