I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Boobs are out for the taking
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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