On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
