My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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