Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
