Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
