ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
even my farts smell like vagina
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Randomize
