don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
