so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
