i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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