Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
