We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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