i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
