dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
