I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
