fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
they're like a gay fantastic four
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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