OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
wow bdsm is so cute
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
