So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Randomize
