Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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