ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
