I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
