Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize
