we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
