So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
porn star boner night. come get it.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
