Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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