i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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