No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
